I Lied about your Boobs
by The Wammy Boys
Summary: Another crazy writing game. Co-written by Kurosakii Ann . Psycho fangirls, boobs, Death Notes, erm.. RATED T FOR TEH CUCKOO BANANAS


Ria smashed the mirror to the floor, laughing maniacally. "I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!"

"No screw you, I will." Hannah smashed her own mirror to the floor. Suddenly a man appeared behind them. They both gasped, it was.. it was.. it was the one and only Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya, the shortest captain in the seireitei!

"Is there a pro-" Hannah quickly grabbed Toshiro and shoved him into her chest giving a more-then-friendly hug.

"Oh M Gee! It's Toshiro-sama! I am your biggest fan! You were so amazing in the last bleach episode I almost died from amazement!" Hannah screeched and continued to hug him. 

"I c-can't b-breathe!" Toshiro gasped. Ria grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him from Hannah's grasp. 

"You're gonna kill him!" Ria finally released Toshiro and pulled him away by his wrist.

Ria smiled sweetly at Toshiro. "C'mon, let's go have some sake together!"

"N-no.. I'd rather not." Toshiro said, still out of breath.

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!" Ria and Hannah grabbed him from each side and started dragging him towards the bar. Toshiro tried hard not to scream; he was about to get raped. Before they could take him all the way in though, the window broke open and appeared Rangiku Matsumoto!

"Don't Worry Captain, Boob Woman will save you!" Rangiku floated into the room and picked up Toshiro. She flew him over to a corner and said, "Stay here, I'll take care of this." With that she flew back over to the two Toshiro fangirls.

"M-Matsumoto-san.." Ria started backing away. Hannah screamed and jumped out of the window even though they were 60 stories high.

"Don't kill me!" Ria exclaimed.

"No I won't kill you." Rangiku smiled.

"Then what?"

"I- I don't know... how about we just pretend this never happened and drink some sake?" Rangiku said pulling off here hot pink cape along with her kitty mask. 

"Uh..." Ria wasn't sure what to say. This woman had just taken her sweet Toshiro-sama away from her and now she wanted to get drunk with her? "I guess." 

"Oh, Hooray!" Rangiku grabbed a large sake bottle out the air and offered it to Ria, but before she could grab it Kon fell from the ceiling and on top of the bottle of sake.

"I WANNA DRINK TOO!" He looked pleadingly at both of their boobs. "Please! Please! Please!"

"Yeah. But we're going to an onsen. I don't know if you'd want to come with us."

"YES I WOULD! I WOULD LOVE TO!"

"Okay! It's a party!" Ria exclaimed. Before they could leave for the onsen though, someone appeared at the doorway. And that someone was none other than L (or more commonly known as Ryuzaki).

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be dead?" Kon asked suspiciously. L looked down at himself then back at Kon quizzically. 

"Am I?" Kon seemed at a loss of words and didn't reply. 

"Well, I heard that Light was revealed as Kira finally and died, then I heard you guys were going to party so I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I tagged along?" L asked.

"Oh em gee I totally wouldn't mind taking a bath with you!" Ria exclaimed.

"Me too!" Rangiku said and pressed L into her boobs. He finally escaped from them two minutes later, gaping for breathe.

"Me next!" Kon exclaimed but Rangiku ignored him. They all went on the Onsen. They were just about to get undressed and go into the bath when Ria began to shake violently.

"Hey are you ok, honey?" Rangiku asked but didn't seem too concerned. 

"Hey! She's having a seizure!" Kon exclaimed. L took off his shirt and knelt by Ria's spazzing body. 

"So she is," L said.

"Well do something genius boy!" Kon yelled in a worried tone.

He pulled out his death note and wrote down "seizure-san". Right away, Ria's seizure subsided and she sat up throwing her hands in the air.

"BATHTIME!" She screamed, ripping off her shirt. Rangiku followed suit and L went to the back room to get some sake. But when he got there, the sake was gone.

"Who stole the sake!" L screamed, seeming very out of character. Rangiku looked to Kon who shrugged his stuffed shoulders. Kon glanced at Ria who was waving her hands frantically.

"Hey! Don't look at me, I didn't steal it!" L then exploded with anger and took the closest chair, throwing it at the wall. It broke into several pieces and fell to the floor. 

"Hey, it's ok, honey! We can get more!" Rangiku said carefully resting a hand on his shoulder. L shoved her hand away and pulled his death note out once again. 

"What are you doing Ryuzaki!" Ria questioned. Without responding, L hastily wrote done all of their names, picturing their disgusting faces in his mind. After he finished he began to laugh malevolently.

He took their purses and wallets, collecting all their money and drove over to the sake store.

"I'd like to buy your entire store." L said.

"You don't have the money." The clerk answered

"No I don't." L slammed his hand on the counter. "But I have a death note."

The clerk smiled skeptically and said, "You can't seriously believe that thing actually works! I just had some crazy girl come in here the other day claiming she had a working death note. I think her name was Shat- Shatk-Sha-something..." L impatiently rolled his eyes and tried to keep his cool. He really needed sake!

"Look, I don't care about your problems with fakes, just watch this." L turned to the first person he could lay his eyes on and asked her her name. The lady replied that her name was Jaycee Watson. 

"Excuse me but, why are you writing down my name, sir?" L glanced up but continued to write, "For a contest." 

"Oh don't you need my number or something?" 

L finished writing, "No, we'll know how to find you." Jaycee's eyes widened a bit and she hurried away. Before she could reach the automatic doors though, she screamed out in pain and collapsed.

L turned back to the dumbfounded clerk. "Well?" 

"Uh, right!" The clerk hastily fumbled for the deed to the sake store. When found, he handed it to L and dashed out of the sake store.

L grinned at the ceiling creepily, bursting into maniacal laughter. Suddenly, three kids appeared.

"You're so out of character it's ridiculous." The tall girl with brown hair sighed, crossing her arms. She turned to a short pink-haired girl next to her. "What do we do about his extreme OCC-ness?"

"I dunno... Ichigo is sexy." The pink-haired girl smiled. A tall blonde guy next to her stood next to her, grinning as well.

"Yuroichi!" He exclaimed nonchalantly.

"What. The. Het. Zi. La. Kos." Another girl suddenly appeared, a _Death Note_ in hand. She pointed at L and screamed. "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!"

L froze. "You're Sha- Shat- Shaa..."

"DON'T SAY IT! IT'S WAMMY. WAMMY THAT'S ALL." She shouted.

"Kindell, we're not going to call you Wammy." The pink haired girl said.

"Fine. Kindell's fine too." She groaned and turned to L. "DIE IDIOT!" Before he could move, she wrote his name into her own personal death note. And L dropped dead.

"Sweet. We have sake and we have Binx and Rhi. Shall we go to the onsen Ann-la?"

"Yes we shall." The pink-haired girl answered. They linked arms and skipped over to the onsen, singing _Baby_ by Justin Bieber the whole way.


End file.
